Birthday at the hospital!
Written Jul 19, 2011 11:51am
Well .. . . . staying at home didn’t work out as long as I had hoped it would. I was really never better. I wanted to be home, but I still couldn’t eat because my mouth sores were just as bad as ever, and I was slowly losing weight, and losing energy each day. I tried to get up out of bed in the morning, and it would take me several tries because I was so light-headed. I had to sleep frequently throughout the day, and I just wasn’t getting better as I had hoped.
I assumed (and the doctors told me) that my mouth sores would get better each day, but they weren’t, so it was impossible each day to get the nutrition I needed in my body to feel good and to just function. I loved being with my kids, but I couldn’t really take care of them at all.
Finally, that Friday, I had a doctor’s appointment to see how I was doing. After taking my blood work, I waited for my doctor. When she came in she was reviewing the results of my bloodwork. I assumed that the white blood cells were going up as they had been when I left the hospital. Instead they had plummeted! I knew that I didn’t feel great, but I didn’t know the bloodwork would confirm it.
The Dr. said, “We are going to need to incarcerate you.” I said, “Like right now?!” She said, “Yes.”
My niece was with me, so she was able to drive the van home and be with the kids while I stayed here and get into a new room. I kept thinking about how it was my birthday the next day for some reason. I had imagined that I was going to feel good by this weekend, and that I would have a fun birthday weekend with my family and still have about a week before I had to start chemo again. Now, I am still trying to get recovered from this darn chemo that seems to have blown my brains out or something!! I can’t believe how hard it is for me to recover from it.
I am now on a nutritional supplement that is being fed right into my body. It has all the nutrition and calories I need in a day. That makes me feel good because I have felt so much pressure for about 5 weeks to eat and drink enough, and I haven’t been able to do it with these mouth sores, so I have just been losing weight and getting weaker. Now I can just sit back and let that bag feed me for a while!! (Although I would love for my mouth to just heal up so I could eat!!!)
Yesterday I had to have a bone marrow biopsy to make sure that there is not a problem in my bone marrow such as leukemia or something. It was not a fun procedure, but I got lots of pain meds for it. I am hoping that everything is fine with my bone marrow, but that it is just tired and that’s why it’s taking a while to grow.
In the meantime I am just sitting in this hospital room bored and wishing I could go home. I have had a few visitors. Last night Branden brought a video and came up by himself and we had a little movie night in here. That was really fun!!
I have the best family and can’t wait to get home to them!!